Mum Guilt: Why we Should Embrace It and Not fight It.

Mum Guilt: Why we Should Embrace It and Not fight It.

Do you know what is Mum guilt?

 

I feel guilty because today I didn’t prepare a meal from scratch for my kids, I just bought a box of something and microwaved it.

I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because today I only played with my kids 5 minutes. 

I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because I didn’t clean the house in order to play with my kids.
I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because I didn’t buy my kids that latest expensive game they wanted so much, in order to save money.
I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because I didn’t read my son his bedtime story tonight, I was too tired and just wanted to go to bed.
I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because I feel so exhausted from all the daily struggles and sometimes I just put my kids in front of the TV so to have some alone time.
I AM A BAD MUM.

I feel guilty because I am grumpy and sad today and I left my kids to play alone. I closed myself in the bathroom and cried.
I AM A BAD MUM

I believe at one point or another, all of us mothers feel this way. All of us feel the “Mum guilt”. And it makes absolute no difference whether you are a single mum or married, in a happy relationship or not, well off financially or struggling, a young or older mum.
Being mothers, often means feeling like everything is on our shoulders, whether we have support around or not. It is probably because we are used to care for those little humans since the day they are just a tiny line on a pregnancy test.
When we carry them in our womb they depend on us totally. A mother’s bond with her child is powerful, and we even find it difficult to accept help sometimes. We might feel that we are the only one able to soothe them, to cuddle them, to put them to sleep, to feed them properly. This is natural I believe, but it is also the reason why, I think, when we can not manage to complete all the tasks piled up in our head ( because we are only human) we inevitably start to experience: mum guilt.

But now let me tell you the way I see it:

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you never failed to feed your kids, you still went out and bought that ready meal!

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you can’t find 5 minutes to have a shower but you ALWAYS find 5 minutes to play with your kids!

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you don’t care how the house looks, you know that dedicating time to your children is far more important.

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you are constantly trying to save money for their future, even if it means upsetting them a little bit at times.

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you remember to take care of yourself as well, and you know that catching up on your sleep from time to time, makes you a better person for your children in the morning.

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because even when taking those few minutes for yourself, you make sure your kids are well and entertained.

YOU ARE A GREAT MUM because you don’t let your kids see you when you are sad and lock yourself somewhere else, to cry alone.

For every single time you think you are a BAD mum, I can give you a 1000 REASONS why, I think you are an AMAZING one!

I believe that feeling mum guilt only makes us human and indeed good mothers. That alone is the first reason why I am done trying to end it, to put a stop to it, but I am going to embrace it instead.
You see, if I did not experience the guilt, it would only mean one of two things for me: 

1- I am finally perfect.

2- I don’t care anymore.

Now: perfection does not exist, neither does a perfect mum. As I always say: those mums that always seem to have it all together, they lose their shit too I am sure. They just hide it better.
As for not caring anymore, God forbid! That is never going to happen is it?
These are the reasons why next time you feel the mum guilt making its way into your head, lurking around…don’t fight it. 

Embrace Mum guilt and take it as a reminder of how much you love your kids, how much you care and of what a perfectly “imperfect” mum you are.

 

<MsW>

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