Why You are Not a Single Mum.

Why You are Not a Single Mum.

Are you a single mum?


I am not a single mum, I have a husband, so I will not and cannot pretend to know what it feels like to be one. However, I have a friend who is, and while having a conversation with her one day, she said some really heartfelt things that made me want to write this post. So I will speak through her voice:

You feel like you got to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts and double love.

You don’t get to decide which parents stays at home taking care of the kids, you are the one that works and stay home at the same time.

At times you feel guilty and feel like you messed up your life and that of your kids, not being able to give them a father figure.

At the end of the day you don’t have that long deserved break when your husband comes home.

It feels impossible sometimes to juggle work, housework, the kids, yourself…life.

Nobody is there in the evening to ask: how was your day? Did the kids behave? Are you tired?

As I am writing this, my husband is giving the children a bath, I spent all day playing with them so he is giving me those few deserved minutes of a break…Later he will go to buy dinner as Friday is the day “I do not cook”, to use that time differently.
You, my dear single mum, most probably do not have that choice, for that I salute you.

Now let me tell you the way I see it:

You DO NOT need four legs, four arms, two hearts etc…YOU ARE HANDLING IT!

The 1 million things you have on your list, you are DOING IT, YOU GOT THIS!

The love you give your kids, is not different from the love I give MINE, is NOT less. But maybe more powerful, and whether sometimes I take things for granted, I AM SURE YOU DON’T. Because after working all day and having those few hours with your children, you make sure they have the best of you. And no matter how exhausted you are, you savour every smile, every hug, every kiss.


In fact you know what? I shouldn’t be calling you a single mum. Mums do not need labels. YOU do not need a label on your head or to be a stereotype. What you are, is a MUM, just like me. And when you think that your kids are getting less than mine, I think there are days, when they are getting more instead.
One day you will look back and be proud of yourself. Then you will look at that amazing young man that is your son, that exquisite young woman that is your daughter and you will know… You will know that is all thanks to you, you have NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE to thank for but yourself. Your kids will look at you with love and immense pride and they will be eternally grateful, because they will know that everything they are, is because of their strong amazing mother.






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